Excerpt From the Book


Taken from To Soften the Blow:

The good news is that I can share with anyone who wants to know, how I found my way out of a living hell. I felt my feelings. Think about it. A feeling is invisible. It carries no sword. It points no gun. But the fear that feelings bring up is the dying kind of fear. I am going to die. But think of it. It is not real. I learned in bodyworks therapy that if I just let a feeling come up, it will move through me and it will dissipate. Fear and grief and painful feelings can only move through me if not squelched by my drug of choice, so I had to know my drug. It may take a long time to feel an event through. That is why being willing to be well takes determination in a world that is so fragmented and that runs so fast. To be well, a person must slow down. A person has to sit – with nothing to do. A person has to invite the uglies into his life. A person has to be conscious of the uglies being there, to not react to them, to not take them out on other human beings. I know if I ask for it – to be well around an issue – it will come, in all the universe’s great force. And feeling this invisible threatening feeling will not kill me. It will not defeat me. While it is up and passing through me, I may want to attack every person I come across, but I have to know that these people are the gift of my being able to feel and heal. They are in my life to help bring up what I have asked to come up. I must bless them. And I must virtually ignore them to get well. I cannot take what they say personally, but I must direct this energy of hatred to the demon still living inside me, still wanting to take up space and conquer me, still laughing at me for being so foolish as to believe the ugly sentences it has put there and nurtured.